I know, I know. I hear this one everywhere, because guess what
almost everyone does. Almost all of us have experienced a broken heart because
of love gone wrong, or the passing of a loved one, or plain old uncontrollable
events that come along, and cause us to guard our hearts, and think 2 or 3 times
before getting involved with someone. But the truth is, when you build walls to
protect yourself, those same walls keep love out, and you never get the very
thing you want the most.
Here are my tips for healing some of those trust
issues:
1. Recognize where those issues came from originally.
Think back to that painful situation that caused you to develop those
really helpful defense mechanisms. Maybe a parent who wasn’t around,
maybe never being chosen in high school, or someone who said they
loved you, but really didn’t. The thing is those defense mechanisms don’t serve
you anymore. Realize that they were created in a time of crisis, and that crisis
no longer exists. Begin to let it go.
2. This is not that. Or, Now is not then.
Following point #1, because I know you’re thinking, “but how can I let it go?”
Release old issues even if it means therapy, coaching or prayer. Seek
support. You are doing this for you, and forgiveness and purging are
necessary for your own healthy life of wellbeing.
3. Discernment
And then there is this one.
Of course you have heard that it is best to learn from past mistakes and
misjudgments so as not to repeat them. Well, in relationships this applies to
having a keener sense of who you are, knowing what you want, and paying
attention to what the person is actually saying and doing as opposed to what you
want them to say and do. Don’t make excuses for bad behavior. Better discernment
pays off in having better relationships, and helps build that trust muscle
again.
Love & Light
almost everyone does. Almost all of us have experienced a broken heart because
of love gone wrong, or the passing of a loved one, or plain old uncontrollable
events that come along, and cause us to guard our hearts, and think 2 or 3 times
before getting involved with someone. But the truth is, when you build walls to
protect yourself, those same walls keep love out, and you never get the very
thing you want the most.
Here are my tips for healing some of those trust
issues:
1. Recognize where those issues came from originally.
Think back to that painful situation that caused you to develop those
really helpful defense mechanisms. Maybe a parent who wasn’t around,
maybe never being chosen in high school, or someone who said they
loved you, but really didn’t. The thing is those defense mechanisms don’t serve
you anymore. Realize that they were created in a time of crisis, and that crisis
no longer exists. Begin to let it go.
2. This is not that. Or, Now is not then.
Following point #1, because I know you’re thinking, “but how can I let it go?”
Release old issues even if it means therapy, coaching or prayer. Seek
support. You are doing this for you, and forgiveness and purging are
necessary for your own healthy life of wellbeing.
3. Discernment
And then there is this one.
Of course you have heard that it is best to learn from past mistakes and
misjudgments so as not to repeat them. Well, in relationships this applies to
having a keener sense of who you are, knowing what you want, and paying
attention to what the person is actually saying and doing as opposed to what you
want them to say and do. Don’t make excuses for bad behavior. Better discernment
pays off in having better relationships, and helps build that trust muscle
again.
Love & Light
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