conversation begins with a woman expressing concern that she is not meeting the
quality of man she would like to be with. Or, she may say that she is not
meeting any men at all. The latter is not usually true, but it has to do with
the eyes she is looking through. (Another subject for another day).
In the search for your Perfect Mate, it may be helpful to
remember that we attract people and circumstances to us that reflect our mindset
about relationships, baggage from other people we have been involved with, and
our fears and vulnerabilities from childhood.
Here are a few things to keep in mind along your journey:
Be Clear, Very Clear -- not only about who you would like to
have in your life, but also you have to be clear about who you are, and what you
really are willing to contribute to the relationship. It is always our own job
to clean up our acts, and be willing to bring as much happiness as we want to receive.
Vulnerability Factor -- Are you really willing to be emotionally
vulnerable and trusting with another person? How are you at releasing or sharing
control of the details of your life? Do you like to have other people in your
space? What about all up in your emotional space, asking deep questions? Are you
able to tell the truth about uncomfortable things in your life? This is not easy
stuff for most people, and the Vulnerability Factor often stops people dead in
their tracks from having truly meaningful relationships. As a result, most
people only have surface relationships which break under pressure. This leads me
to my third tip…
Relationships Will Rock Your World -- Know that relationships
will challenge you at all levels of your being. I teach that this is the true
purpose of relationships, to help us toward growth and maturity. Of course love,
passion and romance are in there too, but really from a spiritual perspective,
the universe uses relationships to propel us forward into emotional places we
would otherwise not likely go. Think about a couple of your previous
relationships, or consider your current one, and think about the ways in which
you felt pushed, challenged, annoyed, and maybe even angered, and in ways that
no one else could reach you. Also, think of the depth of emotions you experienced,
the feeling of falling in love, being totally distracted by thoughts of the other person.
EXACTLY! Relationships get your attention and put you into emotional places that
spill out into every other area of your life. That’s the way it is supposed to be!
I’ll wrap up by saying that these are just a few things I help clients move through.
Most people have challenges in these areas, so don’t worry if you felt I touched
a nerve. It’s not just you, it’s everybody. It’s just that not everybody will take action
toward healing even when they want their perfect partner more than anything.
If this is you, and you feel stuck, email me or leave a comment below.